One thing that has been on my mind in my nearly 30 years in oncology social work is how I have been able to develop and maintain strategies for avoiding burnout or compassion fatigue. We all know it is essential to develop strategies for self-care both in the moments of stress and while we are living our lives. Every day our work is to educate and empower people with cancer and their supporters to cope and find the best quality of life possible.

Quality of Life and Avoiding Burnout

I started to think and reflect about lessons I’ve learned and the people who have been my teachers. I learned many of these lessons from my interactions with and observations of people impacted by a cancer diagnosis. These “teachers” serve as a constant reminder of the need and the benefit of listening so I can sustain my ability to connect with them throughout my daily living. Even after 30 years as an oncology social worker, this is a work in progress.

Some Lessons I’ve Learned Through the Work

• Living with uncertainty. For many of those we encounter, their life with a cancer diagnosis is a roller coaster ride and they never know what is coming next. How do they do it? I know the answers vary and that it isn’t always easy. By listening to all the ways people cope, I have become better at developing my own strategies for “not knowing.” When all else fails, I go back to something I heard in my very first social work practice class, “Trust the process.”

• Living in the moment.  We encourage people to live in the moment. Research shows this can be beneficial (Carlson, 2008). It is often easier said than done, but it is a really good goal to work toward for our patients and their loved ones and us. This goal pairs well with living with uncertainty, and doing more of either one can make doing the other easier. Meditation and trying to live consciously have helped me make this a manageable goal.

• Connecting with others. Isolation frequently accompanies a diagnosis of cancer for both patients and caregivers. Research has shown that connections to a supportive community can have many positive effects including both quality of life and life extension (Anderson et al., 2016). Over the years, listening to people describe their own thoughts about  being with others in a similar situation and being intentional about seeking out these opportunities has given me a new perspective on my tendency toward introversion.

• Becoming educated. People feel empowered when they are able to take some action on their behalf. Part of this is using knowledge to make active decisions. People also want to feel some measure of control, especially when so much of the cancer experience is beyond their control. There is a wide continuum of how well informed people are (and choose to be) about their cancer treatment and the associated psychosocial issues. I have personally seen the power of taking some control over a situation when it comes to cancer. There are places in my life where I tend to be the ostrich and stick my head in the sand. In listening to the stories of how people have benefited from gaining some control over their cancer experience, I have used this observation to become more educated and feel more empowered about certain aspects of my life.

• All feelings have value. I come from a culture where answering the question, “How are you?” is mostly answered with an automatic “Fine, and you?” In many circumstances this is fine and friends and colleagues are always happy to hear the good stuff. I have learned, however, from listening to people about the value they see in sharing some of the more challenging feelings—like worry, sadness, anger—with a trusted group of friends and colleagues. This full sharing of all my feelings deepens my relationships and I am able to feel my more authentic self. The added value is that it also models this for others and then the benefits become mutual.

• It’s OK to ask for help. I love to help others. I makes me feel good. Why shouldn’t I give others that opportunity? I’ve learned that I can do a lot—but I can’t do it all. Finding out that I have my own community of support has been an invaluable lesson for me.  

• Live in a place of gratitude.  A few years ago at the suggestion of an oncology social worker I started to keep a gratitude journal. Every night I enter three things I have been grateful for during that day. Even on the bad days it is a constant reminder that I have so much abundance in my life.

• Finally. It is not too late to practice forgiveness, learn something new, change your mind or find hope.

I hope some of these ideas spark your own ideas of “lessons learned” that you will incorporate into your own plan for living.

References

Carlson, L.E. (2016). Mindfulness-based interventions for coping with cancer. Annals of the New York Academy Of Sciences, 1373(1), 5-12. doi:10.1111/nyas.13029

Andersen, B.L., Hae-Chung, Y., Farrar, W.B., Golden-Kreutz, D.M., Emery, C.F., Thornton, L.M., Young, D., & Carson, W.E. III. (2008). Psychologic intervention improves survival for breast cancer patients: A randomized clinical trial. Cancer, 113(12), 3450-3458.