By Kelly Hendershot, LGSW, LMSW

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn. - Benjamin Franklin 

Thinking back, I am not sure I even was aware of the term “mentor” when I met my first mentor, Denise, back in 2002. I was in an entry-level marketing position for the Winona Daily News, an affiliate of Lee Enterprises, while Denise worked for Lee headquarters. What I did know was that I wanted to be Denise someday. She seemed so confident and was very good at her job but was never condescending. While it was never a formal mentorship program, Denise took me under her wing. She was patient and always willing to take my calls or respond to my emails and was very honest with me about what it would take to succeed in marketing. For instance, when I questioned getting an MBA, her response was only if it was important to me and my journey rather than to the job. She shared that she had a physical therapy background, but it was the relationship building she learned in that field that made her a strong marketer. That’s when I began to really focus my learning on emotional intelligence – which also applies to where I landed in social work. What has most stayed with me about my relationship with Denise is that rather than keeping me in the corner, limiting me to observational learning only, Denise brought me to the table.  

“The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.” — Steven Spielberg 

My experience with Denise led me to embrace seeking people I admired either professionally or in the community to grow the number of formal and informal mentors in my life. 

Formally, I became part of Lead(h)er when I was working in Davenport, Iowa. By this time, I had left the corporate world and was just entering the social work field as a program manager at Gilda’s Club Quad Cities (now CSC Iowa and NW Illinois at Gilda’s Club). While I wasn’t always paired with someone in the non-profit sector, I was always paired with someone who has made a lasting impact on not just my career path, but on my personal life as well. I learned about forging connections with other local organizations, how to set boundaries to prevent burnout, and was introduced to other like-minded individuals who I could learn from as well.  

Eventually, my boss at Gilda’s was relocating and I was promoted to Program Director in her place in 2018. Because mentorship had become such a core value in my professional development, I asked her to become my mentor as I continued to evolve into this new position. To this day, I call her Mentor Missy so she knows when I’m looking for professional guidance and not just a catch-up chat.  

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” — Winston Churchill 

In all honesty, imposter syndrome held me back from becoming a mentor myself for much longer than it should have. But after getting my feet wet as a mentor through Lead(h)er and the Cancer Support Community’s internal mentorship program, I was very excited a few years ago to hear that AOSW’s Membership Committee was revitalizing our mentorship program. 

In case you are not aware, the AOSW member directory includes search capabilities for both mentors and mentees. It’s how I was matched early this year with Miriam.  

In my AOSW profile, I had indicated that I was interested in being a mentor and that my areas of interest are leadership training and transitioning into a leadership/administrative/managerial role. Miram’s profile indicated that she was interested in being a mentee and was seeking a mentor who had experience in transitioning into a leadership/administrative/managerial role. She was also hoping to find someone in the DC area. The search produced a list of potential mentors and allowed Miriam to write a note through the portal to anyone she hoped to connect with. I immediately responded that I was interested. 

It has been wonderful getting to know Miriam and watching her lean into the managerial side of what was then a new role. We’ve emailed, Zoomed, texted and have even been able to meet up in person. I feel it’s important for the mentee to drive what they want out of the relationship to ensure they are getting what they need out of the exchange.   

What I’m not sure mentees understand (until it comes full circle when they become mentors themselves) is how truly reciprocal the relationship is. Being a mentor often helps diminish that lingering (though, not so audible) imposter syndrome voice in my head and helps validate how far I have come in my winding career path.  

To learn more about the program and edit your AOSW profile to be included in the matching process, visit https://aosw.org/my-aosw/mentorship.