Many faces come to mind as I think about what led me to this role as your president. Like all of you, these faces are easy to call to mind, they are the reason for our work. One of these faces belongs in a support group I facilitate for women living with advanced, metastatic cancer that I have been co-facilitating since 1999. It is a group that meets every two weeks—year-round—and we do not limit the number of sessions because these women never get over their cancer. They may be a part of the group for a few years until their cancer prevents them from coming. This is the clinical aspect of my work that I hold onto in order to inform my life, my teaching and my research. These women teach me much. They are my purpose, and the reason for my vision and mission.

We said goodbye to one member, Coletta, when she died from her stage 4 invasive breast cancer. We actually took the group to her house at her request and held the session at her bedside. She died a couple of weeks later. As part of the group work, we did meaning-making and legacy work and helped establish her goals of care, communicate with her family, friends and health care team, and plan her memorial service.

She asked me to speak at her service and I chose to talk about all the work she did in our group that led to her ability to live out the end of her life meaningfully and in the way she wanted. With her permission, this is what I said.

There are two phrases that keep coming to mind as I reflect on Coletta. Coletta had the Strength of Presence and a Generosity of Spirit.

Strength of Presence – Coletta was present to herself and aware of and clear in articulating her own needs. She had a keen and intuitive lens that allowed her to listen to her own body and her own voice when she made her treatment decisions. She had full confidence in her wishes for the end of her life, and she knew exactly when she would be ready to shift the focus of her care to supportive so that she could be in her own home, in her own bed, and with her beloved husband and sons when it was her time to die. She knew with certainty, even if it was hard, even if it might disappoint her family and healthcare team because they were not ready to lose her.

Coletta not only had the Strength of Presence to herself but also to others. She was able to turn that intuitive and keen lens outward. Over the years I knew her, she struggled with losing friends she had made in the support group, even questioning at times if she should continue coming to the group as she was unsure if she wanted to invest in new members for fear of, again, facing loss. Her strength of presence won over and she remained one of the most welcoming and engaged supporters of all newcomers to the group. She invested herself fully and remained present to the other women in a rare and special way.

Generosity of Spirit – Washington Irving said, “A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into its smiles.” Coletta regularly shared generously the stories of her life and her philosophy about living with cancer. She was rarely depressed or brought down by her illness; rather, she would find ways to find humor in the setbacks that cancer threw at her. Regularly bringing us all smiles with her “My Poor Husband Terry” stories, or talking about how when she died, she hoped it was “butt up and face down” in her garden. Many times, she would do this in group when one of the women was facing bad news or a particularly difficult cancer challenge. At the same time, she did not shy away from the hard discussions… in fact, she often started them.

When Coletta faced the difficult discussion with her oncologist about stopping her chemo and focusing on supportive care at home, we said to her, “Coletta, as you go feel us behind you, with our hands on your shoulders, supporting you.” She found that visualization meaningful and helpful. That is how I now picture her with me. I feel Coletta behind me, with her hands on my shoulders, supporting me. She had the Strength of Presence and the Generosity of Spirit to be there.

Coletta and so many others have helped me to articulate my own professional vision and mission. I see serving AOSW as one facet of honoring that mission:

• My Vision: All cancer care is interdisciplinary team care that meets the whole person needs of ALL those affected by cancer.
• My Mission: To improve the quality of life of those affected by cancer using the best practice wisdom and the best research evidence.

Thank you for the honor of being your 2018 AOSW President. I write this first message to you filled with excitement to continue the great work of past presidents and other leaders in our wonderful organization. I am particularly grateful for Catherine Credeur, our 2017 president, and Ali Sachs, our 2016 president. Their mentoring and support have always been present. Moreover, I am thrilled to share the leadership of AOSW with Eucharia Borden, our president-elect, and with Catherine as immediate past president.

I like to think of myself as having a Participative/Servant/Transformational Leadership Style, which means I hope to listen more than I speak and I hope to lead through “doing.” With that said, I plan to pay attention and listen for the needs of AOSW and our members while simultaneously working to support our current goals. 2018 will bring a continuation of great progress toward our Strategic Plan on the part of our entire board.

Your board and management company are working hard to help AOSW remain fiscally sound in increasingly difficult financial times for many nonprofit organizations.

About Me: I am honored to serve AOSW as your president and so excited to be serving with this group of amazing and inspiring board members. I am a longtime oncology and palliative care social worker turned researcher and educator at the University of Louisville School of Medicine and Kent School of Social Work. I have been an AOSW member since 1997. I am married to my college sweetheart, Marty. We have two kids, Lily (14) and Nick (11). I am a freakishly obsessive boater, skier and inland wake surfer (not kidding, just ask and I will tell you all about it).